As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, the most miraculous thing that has ever happened in my life occurred this year. Out of the worst pain and brokenness God brought emotional healing so deep that I have no scars to point to!
He used brokenness as a catalyst to surrender, and surrender as the path that led straight to His heart.
“He is the healer of the brokenhearted. He is the one who bandages their wounds.” -Psalm 147:3
Intimacy with Jesus literally healed me!
And what did that healing look like?
It looked like starting again!
It looked like going back to a time in my life when I was open, free, trusting, unafraid and willing to be completely vulnerable.
Before I had walls.
Before I’d been hurt.
Before my heart had been torn to pieces.
Jesus never came to me after He healed me and said, “Guard your heart or you might get hurt again!”
Instead He said, “Look! I’ve given you a brand new heart! There’s not even any scars! You are free to be unafraid! You can be vulnerable again!”
And He left me there. Without walls and unguarded. Naked and vulnerable. Only Jesus between me and others. Transparent as glass. And He seems to like it that way!
Now I don’t know if you understand how precious a gift that is, but perfect love is unafraid. Perfect love is all about being vulnerable.
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has torment. He that fears is not made perfect in love.” – 1 John 4:18
Jesus did not walk around on this Earth with a guarded heart! He was the most open transparent man who ever lived. The love of God poured out of Him- Jesus never got jaded, never got guarded, even after He was betrayed with a kiss!
But Jesus said, “Judas, is it with a kiss that you betray the Son of Man?” -Luke 22:28
Think of it!
“He was wounded for our transgressions He was bruised for our iniquities…” -Isa 53:5
Wounded and bruised for stuff He didn’t even do, but He kept an open, unguarded, soft heart!
Jesus lived a life of constant rejection and yet He never closed His heart or put up walls.
“We despised Him and rejected Him; He endured suffering and pain. No one would even look at Him–we ignored Him as if He were nothing.” -Isa 53:3
Even with nails through His hands as He hung on the cross Jesus refused to pull inside Himself and protect and guard His heart from those who hated Him!
“Father, forgive them, they don’t know what they’re doing.” -Luke 23:24
What an example He left! And it hasn’t gone unnoticed by me.
Jesus seems to prefer me unguarded and vulnerable.
After experiencing the worst pain in my life, Jesus only wants me to believe the best in others!
“Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres…” -1 Corinthians 13:7
He never told me to build a wall, or erect a fortress after He healed me. I don’t even think it crossed His mind!
I think vulnerable is exactly where He’s wanted me to be all along!
He’s been waiting my entire life to get me to this place!
Jesus wanted me vulnerable.
Jesus wanted me unguarded.
What a revelation!!!
Jesus likes it when I’m unafraid!
When all the walls around my heart were torn down because I was in utter brokenness, the last thing God wanted me to do was build new ones!